"What will you trust Me with?"

Psalms 9:9-10

'The Lord also will be a refuge and a stronghold for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble;And those who know Your name [who have experienced Your precious mercy] will put their confident trust in You, For You, O L ord , have not abandoned those who seek You. '

trust

/trəst/

noun

• firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

"relations have to be built on trust"

Similar:

confidence

belief

faith

freedom from suspicion/doubt

sureness

certainty

certitude

assurance

conviction

credence

reliance

• acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation.
  

• the state of being responsible for someone or something. "a man in a position of trust" responsibility duty obligation

• a person or duty for which one has responsibility. "rulership is a trust from God"

Origin: Middle English: from Old Norse traust, from traustr ‘strong’; the verb from Old Norse treysta, assimilated to the noun.

This illustration is the E👏🏿PI👏🏿TO👏🏿ME👏🏿 of what my faith looked like in 2023. I thought I trusted God. I thought I knew Him fully. I began to realize that I knew Him in some areas but I was acquainted with His name in other areas. Realizing that fact hurt me. I felt absolutely terrible. It took a 2.5 mile run on Thanksgiving for Abba and I to have a conversation about trust. The following (italics indicate the voice of God or the guidance of Holy Spirit) is how it went.

Thanksgiving morning my husband and I got up and performed our hygiene routine. I began looking for business casual attire for him and I to dine in. Once I found the clothes that we would wear, I went into the kitchen to begin warming the food. Cut to later in the afternoon to early evening time, we were dressed and ready to eat. I fixed my husband his plate and then mine. For some reason, I only wanted small portions of each dish. We ate and of course marveled at the food and how great it tasted. Soon after I heard Holy Spirit say,

"Go running".

I thought I was trippin' because who runs on Thanksgiving, AFTER eating a meal of dressing, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, rice and gravy!?!? Who I ask...who?! God then asked me,

"Will you dedicate your time by running with Me for 30 days?"

"Yes. I want to run with you God but whenever I try to be consistent with working out, it don't work out for me. Either a cyst flares up on my ovary or my knees swell and ache. This happens every single time. It's frustrating!"

"Just trust me. Run with Me for 30 days."

As I began running everything within my body reminded me of my age and my ailments. It was terribly tough! When I work out, I put on my sweat belt. As I was running God said,

"Take off what you have around your trunk."

"But it helps with my most troublesome area."

"It does not help you as much as you think. You are focusing your concern on one part of your body. I am concerned with all of you."

I threw the sweatbelt away in the trash can that was on the trail.

"Repeat my name as you run in cadence with your steps. Your breathing will come into alignment with me and your chest will be fine."

I exhaled Yah and inhaled Weh. When my left foot hit the ground ( a Drill Sergeant taught me that in boot camp) I exhaled and inhaled God's name. I have the tendency to look at distance in terms of how much more I have left to travel as opposed to how much distance I have already traveled. I looked down the road and became overwhelmed at how much ground I had to cover. I wanted to stop running. Much like Sarai, I began to think a thought. God interrupted that thought with a firm but rhetorical question,

"WHAT WILL YOU TRUST ME WITH? You do not trust Me with the child I promised you. You do not trust Me with finances. You do not trust Me with your body. What DO you trust Me with?"

"I thought I did trust you Lord."

"Look down"

"Lord I don't like looking down. It makes me feel like I am not confident within myself."

"This has nothing to do with your confidence. You are focused on the wrong thing. I want you to look down to see the footprints."

"Why the footprints?"

"It represents steps I have ordered for you. You all get so focused on looking up and around you trying to figure out what I have planned for you. I set footprints before you to order your steps. Pay attention to the steps in front of you. I have aerial view to see what is going on all around you."

I did just that. I paid attention to the shoe prints that were in the dirt. They looked fresh. I could tell that someone else had ran that day as well. Holy Spirit then spoke to me and said,

"It's important to leave foot prints for someone else so that they can see how to allow God to lead you."

I ran these footprints all the way to the second traffic light that marked the entrance of our development. It was amazing! I always thought about distance when I ran. Even in the Army during PT tests with my quickest time for a 2 mile run being 15:09, I would always measure how much more I had to go. I did not consider the advantage of focusing on something other than time.

I was finished. I ran 2.5 miles. I got into the house and cried. I cried and worshipped God for inviting me to spend time with Him. After taking a shower, I went to my prayer place and fell on my face and began to repent for not trusting God with my whole and entire heart. I considered myself to be very aware of what trust was. I realized I had wordly knowledge and not Godly wisdom concerning trust. I didn't accept that I had a covenant relationship with God and that this covenant included peace!

If you are wondering I did have flare ups of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom) and my Endometriosis was on level 10. If I was not able to run, I asked the Lord if I could do the same amount of time and distance on a bike that I won at our realtor's client appreciation fest. Shout out to Voltaire Lepe!

As I ran for 30 days, I felt weight lifting off my body. I was sleeping better, my digestive system became more active, my appetite was changing. I didn't crave junk as much as I used to. I began to come to the understanding that being healthy and having a healthy lifestyle is not just about a snatched waist. It is about being renewed, healthy in the heart, healthy in the mind and healthy in the spirit. I have been working out now since November 2023. It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and going through a number of trial and error periods with health foods. I have lost a total of 9lbs since then. It may not seem like much but I am at a point in my life where despising small beginnings is like wasting seed. I want to cultivate it as best as I can. Running with God was a sacrifice. There were days that I cried during the pain. My tears were an investment and a testament to how much God meant to me and how much it meant to me to do exactly what He asked.

Prayerfully this testimony will help you make the decision that you need to make, so that God can do a complete and lasting work within you. What will you invite Him into? What will you dedicate to Him and how long can you set aside your time?